The Freedom to Change: You Don’t Have to Be Who You Were Five Minutes Ago
"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago." — Alan Watts
Alan Watts often hits the nail on the head for me, and this quote is no exception. It’s simple, but it speaks to something I’ve always felt — that we are allowed to change, moment to moment, without needing to justify it or explain ourselves. That freedom feels deeply human, and yet we’re so often taught to resist it.
We are taught to stay the same
From the moment we’re old enough to speak, we’re asked questions like “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As if there’s just one answer. As if that answer should remain steady through the twists and turns of our lives.
We're rewarded for sticking with things. For “finding ourselves” and then never wavering. For picking a lane and staying in it.
But life doesn’t really work that way, does it? We change. Sometimes quietly. Sometimes dramatically. Sometimes in ways we can’t even put into words.
I’ve never feared change — I breathe it
For me, change has never been something to avoid — in fact, I seem to thrive on it. Staying still for too long feels stifling, like wearing a jumper that doesn’t quite fit anymore.
I’ve always seen life, and myself, as something fluid — in constant motion. Not necessarily searching for anything, just becoming. And with each experience, each moment of clarity or collapse, I change. I grow. I shift.
Not everyone in my life has found that easy to understand. Some relationships have suffered because of it. I can see how my constant flowing — my refusal to cling to one fixed identity — can be unsettling. Most people find comfort in consistency. And someone who refuses to stay the same can feel a bit like trying to hold on to water.
But that’s just it: I’ve never felt the need to tightly hold on. Not to one version of myself. Not to a job. Not even, if I’m honest, to people or places. I’ve always been more of a free spirit — someone who finds routine and repetition far more suffocating than uncertainty.
The myth of the fixed self
One of the greatest sources of suffering I see — both in myself and in others — is the pressure to live up to an identity that no longer fits.
The healer who no longer wants to hold space.
The teacher who wants to unlearn.
The partner who needs something different now.
We hold ourselves hostage to old versions of who we once were because we’re afraid of being seen as flaky, inconsistent, or lost. But what if the opposite is true? What if clinging to a past identity is what keeps us stuck?
Every moment is a new chance
You don’t need to wait for Monday, or a new year, or a life crisis to start again.
You don’t even have to wait five minutes.
Right now, in this breath, you are free to shift.
To soften.
To question the story you’ve been telling about who you are and who you should be.
There’s no form to fill in. No permission slip required. Just awareness.
A small practice for big shifts
If this resonates, here’s a gentle practice you might try when you feel stuck in an old version of yourself:
Pause and breathe. Feel your body here, now.
Ask: Who am I choosing to be in this moment?
Let go of needing an answer. Simply notice what feels alive, what feels true — even if it contradicts what came before.
You might surprise yourself.
You’re allowed to change
That’s the quiet revolution.
Not burning it all down (though sometimes we do that too). But allowing the truth of this moment to be enough.
So, if today you feel different — softer, bolder, quieter, clearer — let that be OK.
You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.
And what a gift that is.
📘 Want to go deeper?
If you’re on a journey of letting go and rediscovering who you really are, you might enjoy my book:
How Did I Get Here? A Guide to Letting Go of Your Past and Living in Alignment with Your True Self.
It’s a gentle, honest guide to loosening the grip of old stories, reconnecting with your truth, and allowing the freedom to evolve — even when it makes others uncomfortable.